My son hates me because I will NOT accept his lifestyle. Is his father the blame for this?

First off, it's no one's fault on why your son's gay. It's something that someone is born with. Not having a dad around isn't going to make someone gay. So there's your first mistake. He's your son. If he's gay, he can't change it and just be un-gay. So you need to learn to accept it or you'll lose him forever.